ripped to pieces

[speycaster]

lost my wife 6 weeks ago to a failed heart transplant im falling to pieces been together since we were 15 im now 58 she was my world and my fishing partner ,ive tried so hard to cope but i just cant ,why is this world so cruel when there are others out there who abuse their life and she lived hers by the book countless operartions ,56 tablets a day . allways in pain , this was suposed to be her salvation i feel so empty, now its all been dragged up again for the coroners inquest [ miss-aplication of procedure ]well for me you can keep this world its not worth a **** let me out

[HarryTom]

Speycaster,
I hope you don't mind me replying to your posting. I very rarely look on here but your story jumped out at me and really touched me.
Believe me when I say I know how you feel but I really do.
My partner died very suddenly at the age of just 33 - I came home and found her and my world really just fell apart ! But honestly time does heal and make the loss easier to bare. You learn to laugh and love life again and remember the happy times you had together.
If I can recommend one thing to you it would be to arrange some bereavement counselling - honestly it is so important to keep talking through it all especially when maybe you feel that family and friends have moved on but for you it feels that the world has simply stopped turning.
Best wishes to you mate.

[Teifi-Terrorist]

Billy,

I can't even start to imagine what you are going through, and to do so would be patronising. Suffice to say Billy we have been in communication throughout all this and I know that this has not been an easy period for you, how can it be.

This puts life into perspective Billy and at times boy does it suck! The only thing that I can tell you Billy is that if you have been with your wife 43 years then you should know her well enough to know that she would want you to continue and have a fun life in her memory. You will never forget her and she will never leave you. Indeed, I'm sure in the future Billy that will comfort you.

Good luck with it all Billy, let time takes its role.

Steff.

[dancer]

Hi Speycaster

Im not really well qualified even to reply to your heartbreaking message as in life I havent been through anything like the trials you have faced.

That said when I read the post I just wanted to write and say that as a fellow seatrout nut and human being im feeling your pain mate and im thinking of you and hoping that in the coming months and years you can at least get back some feelings for life again.

The advice about time, councelling etc from people who have suffered sililarly seems sensible and in your moments of despair dont hesitate to post again as you are amongst friends on this forum

Look after yourself Dancer Paul

[Philrich]

I am not going to pretend like I understand, but I will share a passage which was given to me when I myself was going through a rather difficult period.

The darkest moments of our lives are not to be buried and forgotten, rather they are a memory to be called upon for inspiration to remind us of the unrelenting human spirit and our capacity to overcome the intolerable .

I hope it helps Speycaster, pob bendith ar y daith,

Phil

[speycaster]

thank you all for your kind words they are a great comfort to me i will seek the right help as i have been to dark places recently and didnt enjoy it once agai thank you one and all

[fredaevans]

Hi Speycaster

The advice about time, counseling etc from people who have suffered similarly seems sensible and in your moments of despair don't hesitate to post again as you are amongst friends on this forum

Look after yourself Dancer Paul

I can't stress the importance of the "don't hesitate to post again as you are amongst friends on this forum." You need all the 'human contact' you can get, even if it's just off your finger tips.

Need/want to talk, everyone here, is here for you, when ever you need us. Some of 'us' are close by, some like me may be several time zones away. But that's a "good thing." At 6PM my time, it's 2AM your time. Point being some ones always there. Just type.

Fred Evans
Southern Oregon
USA

[Aled]

I am sorry to say that i cannot pretend know what you are going through. I have suffered berevement but my situations were a long long way from yours. Everything that i would say has already been said. I do however believe that talking about how you feel to others will help.
It seems that good advice has been offered here, and i too will echo, don't hesitate to post how you feel on here, i honestly believe that if we can offer advice or support we will.
Aled

[speycaster]

thank you one and all its heartbreaking to haer of others mis fortune had a talk to my g.p today and he tells me i have to get out and do what i love so i am fishing the welsh dee tomorow morning at the insistence of my children thank you all so much you have given me the will to step forward and carry on , i see it is now time for some me time i guess i was lost having spent the last 10 years looking after my wife , but i will not go under there are to manys days with my name on them to give up, god bless you all and may i be there for you if you ever need me

[dancer]

thank you one and all its heartbreaking to haer of others mis fortune had a talk to my g.p today and he tells me i have to get out and do what i love so i am fishing the welsh dee tomorow morning at the insistence of my children thank you all so much you have given me the will to step forward and carry on , i see it is now time for some me time i guess i was lost having spent the last 10 years looking after my wife , but i will not go under there are to manys days with my name on them to give up, god bless you all and may i be there for you if you ever need me

Speycaster just in from the river and thats the best news ive had all day the fact that you are going to do one of the things that is dear to you.
I hope you will continue to post regularly and tell us how it is with you and just take steady steps each day as undoubtedly there will be good times and not so good times.
Im not a very relgious person but if you get a chance I can thoroughly reccomend a book by Ekhart Tolle called the power of now which as times go on may be of use and whilst you will always treasure the memories and never forget, it explains the great benefits of as it says trying to live in the present moment, not looking forward too much or looking back to much but trying to get you to see that just at this moment its ok however it is

A bit deep I know and it may not be for now but it may help in the future when you are ready.Just a thought

[Aled]

Strong and positive response there my friend.
Tight Lines Speycaster don't forget to let us know how you get on.
Cheers
Aled

[Peter J Simcox]

Remember

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land ;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay,
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember,do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rossetti.

[speycaster]

thank you peter that is very touching god bless billy

[Peter J Simcox]

Billy, it's a long road that you now travel, but you will get there and emerge into the sunlight once more, and although it doesn't seem it now you will start to enjoy life again, you have your fishing which will help you achieve this. Tight Lines.
May you take comfort and consolation in the sure and certain knowledge that your Wife is now enjoying Perfect Peace.
Peter.

[speycaster]

http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i23/buzzerman/STA60052.jpg

[Aled]

Cracking looking pup there. |\
Pet or worker?
Tight Lines
Aled

[speycaster]

shes a worker aled my kids have just surprised me apparantly im of to ireland for two weeks fishing on monday they never ceace to amaze me god bless them i cant wait billy |\

[fredaevans]

http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i23/buzzerman/STA60052.jpg

I give it about 6 months before you've 'lost' one side of the bed at night.|\

[speycaster]

allready have fred from day one im gonner miss her when im in ireland lol;)

[fredaevans]

allready have fred from day one im gonner miss her when im in ireland lol;)

"You are going SOMEWHERE and I'm not coming too!!????"

Understand loosing half your bed; I've got a Yellow Lab (Sandy) who weighs in at a pound short of 100. Match him up with Husky (who is a Husky) at 115 ... and there's damned little room for me.

Fred

[speycaster]

i have just returned from my hollidays in ireland no game fish but plenty of course fish i had a great time and i would like to thank the tremendous people of this forum you have lifted me and made me feel life is worth living again i dont know what i would have done without you all you have been such a great help , thank you all for your words of hope and for sharing your bad times with me ,i am humbled to be amongst great freinds , the offers of fishing have been overwhelming i thank you all for that i am on the rise i have my hunger for the sport back may you all have good luck with your pursuit of the fish of your choice thank you and god bless billy

[Teifi-Terrorist]

Nice one Billy, good on you. By the way, that's a cracking looking pup!! |\

You've got your hands full there, some fun training days ahead! :>

Steff.

[Aled]

Good one Billy, by the way let us know how that pup is getting on, its a cracker.
Tight Lines
Aled

[speycaster]

hi lads she is brilliant so clever but my god is she busy lol i am worn out and the love she shows is incredible she never stops he he ,im out on the conway tomorow night at last stef could you pm me please with regards to fishing thanks billy

[Teifi-Terrorist]

Tight-lines Billy.

PM sent.

Steff.